Crime and Punishment: in my head

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Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky is my favorite book of all time, but that’s not necessarily because I enjoy it.  I do, obviously, enjoy reading it, but I think it’s my favorite because of how intense an effect it has on me.

The first time I read it was in college, so the reading schedule was fast-paced, forcing me to really immerse myself in the novel.  I did, and it had such an obvious impact on me that my professor, Dr. Nancy Dayton, actually told me to me stop reading!

I haven’t re-read the novel since then because it is such a massive undertaking, but I assigned it to my students for summer reading so I’m diving in again.  Well, I got behind on the reading for a week and had to catch up this weekend.  I thought that I had outgrown the influence of Dostoevsky, but one lengthy dose of Raskolnikov and I swear that I’m insane.

I can’t think straight.  I don’t feel like myself.  I’m constantly in my own head and have trouble interacting with people.  I am insecure and arrogant at the same time.  I walk around as if in a stupor.  My thoughts are disjointed and grandiose.  My emotions are alternately numb and severe.

All because I read some Crime and Punishment this weekend?

Yes.

Whenever I hear the question about who you would like to have dinner with, living or dead, my answer is always Dostoevsky.  I want to talk to him, to understand him, because I think that by knowing Dostoevsky I’d be able to know myself as well.

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He looks scary, who could imagine such incredible things came from his mind?

Fyodor Dostoevsky is my literary soulmate.  Who is yours?  What piece of work affects you?

Carbon Monoxide Leak

Ever since the school year ended on Thursday I keep thinking of the scene in Arrested Development when Michael sends everyone out to get a job  and then walks in the house to find the whole family draped over the furniture, immobile.

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“Is there a carbon monoxide leak in this house?”

I’ve been so lethargic that I thought I actually had a carbon monoxide leak in my house.  Thankfully that’s not logistically possible, or else I probably would have been running for the hospital because I’ve been watching a lot of House lately.

My first year of teaching I had some friends who were concerned that I had mono because of how tired I was.  They managed to make me worry too, but in the end it was simply exhaustion from being a first-year teacher.  And my exhaustion now is not from being sick or poisoned, but just from being the end of the school year.  Can you imagine the energy that is expended when an introvert teaches teenagers?!

I really don’t know how the rest of you normal folk survive without a summer vacation.  What do you do when you get burnt out?